English-language etiquette guides for Japan are full of folklore. Having read the actual house rules of the top counters — and the chefs' own interviews — here is the honest version: what genuinely matters, and what doesn't.
The seven that matter
1. Be on time — meaning early. Top counters seat everyone at once and build the night around it; several state in writing that fifteen minutes' unannounced lateness cancels your seat, with full charges. Arrive ten minutes before the hour.
2. Skip the perfume. Not folklore: famous sushi-ya print it in their booking terms — some even name strong fabric softener. A counter dinner is half aroma; chefs quietly blacklist violators.
3. Declare allergies when you book, not when you arrive. An omakase is purchased and planned days ahead. Houses can rebuild a course with a week's notice; same-day surprises can end the meal. Some counters decline severe-allergy bookings outright — better to know before you fly.
4. Eat nigiri when it lands. The rice is body-temperature and dying from the moment it's set down. A few seconds for a photo is fine; a resting piece is the one thing that visibly pains a chef.
5. Ask before photographing. There is no universal rule — some houses love it, some forbid it — so the etiquette is the asking. Everywhere: no flash, no shutter sound, no other guests in frame.
6. Check the children policy. Many top counters set a floor around twelve years old; many others (all-private-room houses especially) genuinely welcome families. It's a booking question, not a moral one.
7. Never, ever no-show. This is the master rule the other six orbit. No-shows cost Japanese restaurants an estimated ¥200 billion a year and are the direct reason the best rooms have gone introduction-only. Your behavior literally decides whether the next traveler can book.
The five you can ignore
- Hands vs. chopsticks for sushi: either is correct. Masters say so on the record — nigiri began as street food.
- Jacket required: almost nowhere. Avoid shorts and tank tops; otherwise relax. (One real pro move: take off your watch before a bare-wood counter — it protects the hinoki.)
- Insider vocabulary: ordering "agari" or "murasaki" impresses no one; chefs prefer plain words.
- Sauce rituals: at good counters each piece arrives already seasoned. When in doubt, eat it as served.
- Reverent silence: conversation is welcome. The great chefs say the counter exists for it — several are famous precisely because dinner there is fun.
The quiet meta-rule
Every rule above compresses to one sentence: the counter is a shared performance, and you are in the cast. Play your part and doors keep opening — in a country where the best rooms remember names, that is worth more than any platform account.